ESP verified

Max is a little annoyed with kindergarten because the teacher has declared that he cannot make, bring or use weapons in class.  This is not a totally unreasonable request, but I've had some difficulty convincing Max of its wisdom.  Of course, they have no weapons at school, Max has none at home either, but he makes them our of lego and tinker toys.  Now that he is not allowed to even make weapons at school, Max has decided kindergarten is not worth attending and complains at length when we get ready in the morning.

While I completely understand the teacher's sentiment, I also understand Max's.  It is hard not to have the freedom to explore what you really care about.  For Max, that is weapons.  This morning Max was explaining to me again why he didn't want to go to school.

Max: I was building a tower out of blocks, mom...and I wanted to have a gun on the top of the tower.  But the teacher said I couldn't build a gun on the top and that made me mad.

Now I've seen the guns Max builds and I know that they only very loosely resemble guns, so I'm sure the only way the teacher could know what he was building is if he gives it away by using it as a weapon.  I wasn't sure divulging this to Max was a great idea, but I wanted to revitalize his enthusiasm for school.

Me: Well you know Max, the teacher can't actually tell if you are building a weapon unless you use it as a weapon.

Max: She can't?

Me: No.  She can't read your mind.  She doesn't know what you are building, she just sees a tower of blocks.  But if you start using it as a weapon then she will be able to tell what it is.  You need to be an agent in disguise.

Max's eyes lit up at this last though, but quickly clouded over with suspicion.

Max: Are you sure she can't read my mind.

Me: I'm positive.  Nobody can read your mind.

Max:  But Joanne can read my mind!

Me:  She can?

Max: Yes.  The other day she saw a pee spot on my pants and I told her it was water, but she still knew it was pee!

We definitely should have held on to Joanne longer.  ESP is hard to come by in hired help. Hopefully Max's teacher is not similarly endowed or my plan is shot.

Max starts school - update

I have had lots of queries about how Max's first day of school actually went.  I can't say much because pulling details about school out of a 4-year-old is like trying to pull every hair out of your leg using dental floss - painful and very slow.  (Note: If you are wondering where I came up with such a crazy simile it actually happened to my sister in Vietnam under the label of "getting her legs waxed").  Anyway, here are Max's thoughts on his first day of school:

- He played with marshmallow blocks, which are cool because they stick together.  Apparently this is all he did all day as I could not get him to report any other activities.

- He made a friend, but he doesn't remember the friend's name.

- He didn't like putting up his hand when he wanted to talk, especially because he had to wait a really long time.

- The teacher was nice, but she was also very bossy.

Max starts school

Today was Max's first day of school.  We tried to get him to pose for some pictures, but it didn't go well (observe failed attempts below).  As Gus and Darwyn and I lined up outside the school I felt my feelings alternating between pride and concern.   I watched Max milling around with the other four-year-olds, all of them looking like their backpack was about to pull them over backwards and leave them stranded like an upside down turtle.  But in spite of being undersized Max looked so confident and excited.  He didn't show even a shadow of fear or doubt.  And I felt very proud of him.

Darwyn and Max before Max's first day of school.
Note the matching water bottles.  Darwyn, carried
hers around all morning as proof of her connection to
Max and his going to school.

"Can we go yet mom?"

Max was clearly interested in making friends.  He spotted a 3-year-old child (someones sibling) wearing a batman shirt.  To Max, this seemed reason enough to be friends.  He launched across the school yard, bared his hands like claws and roared with all his might at the child.  The kid looked terrified.  

ME: Max, you need to use your words.  Say, "Hi I'm Max, what is your name?"

Max tried this, but the kid had already decided he was worth avoiding and hid behind his mom.  Max shrugged him off and set his eye on a couple of older boys chasing each other around.  I could see him think he would like to be part of that game.  He launched out in front of the boys as they came running up and started shooting with his hands.  They ran past and he looked crest fallen.  

After this we had yet another talk about how you make friends and I couldn't help being worried that he would terrorize all his new potential friends before he had made it in to the classroom.  He nodded earnestly as he listened to my lecture and then I sent him off to line up with the other children headed to kindergarten.  

I stood beside all the other parents watching their children.  I could feel their pride and their nerves.  I shared the story of Max roaring at his fellow classmates with a nervous mother standing beside me. She laughed and said "he will get along well with my son then" and it occurred to me that perhaps Max had stumbled on the perfect technique for self-selecting his friends early.  

As I wandered away into my thoughts, the teacher got ready to take all the kids inside.  Max looked at me insistently from the line.  "Mom, you need to hug me before I go into the classroom."

ME: Of course, you aren't allowed to go in without hugging your mom first!

MAX: Yes, because I love you a lot, but I will love you less and less as I get older.  

Sigh....such prescience in a four-year-old!  He is definitely ready for school. I thought 'Go get 'em batman!  But do try to introduce yourself with something resembling the English language.'

Still, I had to fight the urge to push my way into the classroom with him (and I had to fight Darwyn to keep her from actually doing this).  I felt like I was sending him into a black box...a place I hoped was good, but knew nothing about.  The whole way home Darwyn begged to be taken back and allowed to go to kindergarten.  We told her she was still too young, but she insisted that she had just now grown older and we hadn't noticed.  I almost believed her.  That certainly seems to be what happened to Max.