ESP verified

Max is a little annoyed with kindergarten because the teacher has declared that he cannot make, bring or use weapons in class.  This is not a totally unreasonable request, but I've had some difficulty convincing Max of its wisdom.  Of course, they have no weapons at school, Max has none at home either, but he makes them our of lego and tinker toys.  Now that he is not allowed to even make weapons at school, Max has decided kindergarten is not worth attending and complains at length when we get ready in the morning.

While I completely understand the teacher's sentiment, I also understand Max's.  It is hard not to have the freedom to explore what you really care about.  For Max, that is weapons.  This morning Max was explaining to me again why he didn't want to go to school.

Max: I was building a tower out of blocks, mom...and I wanted to have a gun on the top of the tower.  But the teacher said I couldn't build a gun on the top and that made me mad.

Now I've seen the guns Max builds and I know that they only very loosely resemble guns, so I'm sure the only way the teacher could know what he was building is if he gives it away by using it as a weapon.  I wasn't sure divulging this to Max was a great idea, but I wanted to revitalize his enthusiasm for school.

Me: Well you know Max, the teacher can't actually tell if you are building a weapon unless you use it as a weapon.

Max: She can't?

Me: No.  She can't read your mind.  She doesn't know what you are building, she just sees a tower of blocks.  But if you start using it as a weapon then she will be able to tell what it is.  You need to be an agent in disguise.

Max's eyes lit up at this last though, but quickly clouded over with suspicion.

Max: Are you sure she can't read my mind.

Me: I'm positive.  Nobody can read your mind.

Max:  But Joanne can read my mind!

Me:  She can?

Max: Yes.  The other day she saw a pee spot on my pants and I told her it was water, but she still knew it was pee!

We definitely should have held on to Joanne longer.  ESP is hard to come by in hired help. Hopefully Max's teacher is not similarly endowed or my plan is shot.

Max starts school - update

I have had lots of queries about how Max's first day of school actually went.  I can't say much because pulling details about school out of a 4-year-old is like trying to pull every hair out of your leg using dental floss - painful and very slow.  (Note: If you are wondering where I came up with such a crazy simile it actually happened to my sister in Vietnam under the label of "getting her legs waxed").  Anyway, here are Max's thoughts on his first day of school:

- He played with marshmallow blocks, which are cool because they stick together.  Apparently this is all he did all day as I could not get him to report any other activities.

- He made a friend, but he doesn't remember the friend's name.

- He didn't like putting up his hand when he wanted to talk, especially because he had to wait a really long time.

- The teacher was nice, but she was also very bossy.

Max starts school

Today was Max's first day of school.  We tried to get him to pose for some pictures, but it didn't go well (observe failed attempts below).  As Gus and Darwyn and I lined up outside the school I felt my feelings alternating between pride and concern.   I watched Max milling around with the other four-year-olds, all of them looking like their backpack was about to pull them over backwards and leave them stranded like an upside down turtle.  But in spite of being undersized Max looked so confident and excited.  He didn't show even a shadow of fear or doubt.  And I felt very proud of him.

Darwyn and Max before Max's first day of school.
Note the matching water bottles.  Darwyn, carried
hers around all morning as proof of her connection to
Max and his going to school.

"Can we go yet mom?"

Max was clearly interested in making friends.  He spotted a 3-year-old child (someones sibling) wearing a batman shirt.  To Max, this seemed reason enough to be friends.  He launched across the school yard, bared his hands like claws and roared with all his might at the child.  The kid looked terrified.  

ME: Max, you need to use your words.  Say, "Hi I'm Max, what is your name?"

Max tried this, but the kid had already decided he was worth avoiding and hid behind his mom.  Max shrugged him off and set his eye on a couple of older boys chasing each other around.  I could see him think he would like to be part of that game.  He launched out in front of the boys as they came running up and started shooting with his hands.  They ran past and he looked crest fallen.  

After this we had yet another talk about how you make friends and I couldn't help being worried that he would terrorize all his new potential friends before he had made it in to the classroom.  He nodded earnestly as he listened to my lecture and then I sent him off to line up with the other children headed to kindergarten.  

I stood beside all the other parents watching their children.  I could feel their pride and their nerves.  I shared the story of Max roaring at his fellow classmates with a nervous mother standing beside me. She laughed and said "he will get along well with my son then" and it occurred to me that perhaps Max had stumbled on the perfect technique for self-selecting his friends early.  

As I wandered away into my thoughts, the teacher got ready to take all the kids inside.  Max looked at me insistently from the line.  "Mom, you need to hug me before I go into the classroom."

ME: Of course, you aren't allowed to go in without hugging your mom first!

MAX: Yes, because I love you a lot, but I will love you less and less as I get older.  

Sigh....such prescience in a four-year-old!  He is definitely ready for school. I thought 'Go get 'em batman!  But do try to introduce yourself with something resembling the English language.'

Still, I had to fight the urge to push my way into the classroom with him (and I had to fight Darwyn to keep her from actually doing this).  I felt like I was sending him into a black box...a place I hoped was good, but knew nothing about.  The whole way home Darwyn begged to be taken back and allowed to go to kindergarten.  We told her she was still too young, but she insisted that she had just now grown older and we hadn't noticed.  I almost believed her.  That certainly seems to be what happened to Max.

My precioussss

I started reading The Hobbit to Max in the expectation that he's too young for it and that we'd need to abandon the book almost immediately.  It was a desperate attempt to sneak in some reading that also interests me, and hey, he's really good at sitting and listening to stories, so who knows what'll happen, right?

Delightfully, Max has latched onto the story with more vigour than I'd ever dared hope.  We're presently in the middle of Riddles in the dark (chapter 5) and he hangs off my every word.  Bilbo has just defeated Gollum with a riddle of questionable legality and Max and I tested each other with riddles of our own before bed tonight.

It's been twenty years since I read The Hobbit, so the book is quite fresh for me and I enjoy our reading time immensely.  I'm surprised how well suited the book is for children (so far, at least).  It moves very quickly; straight off the bat we meet a wizard, dwarves, trolls, and special swords with writing on them that no one can read.  Just as Max was starting to fidget during the visit to Elrond's house, bam!---suddenly we were inside a mountain and goblins were everywhere.

Max is very excited to see the dragon.  Here's hoping we make it all the way to the end, but even if we don't it's already been a resounding victory.

In the eye of the beholder

Tonight we went on an adventure.  We had planned to go explore a new mysterious path we saw last night on the way to the library, but we didn't make it that far.  We had just arrived at the intersection of two busy roads and we paused to admire a little section of laurel creek tucked into a gully beside the roads.  We lamented how it would have been a pretty spot, if only it weren't for the tainting influence of the busy streets. But Max instantly requested to go down and play in the creek.  I was going to say no, but Gus convinced me to show a little wonder in the world and we trekked down into the Gully "for a second".  No sooner had we arrived at the creek then my kids were both waste deep in water and mud.  Gus hurried in too and soon he had everyone chasing after a minnow.  I watched amused, but wrinkled my nose at the mud.

We happened to have some buckets along and Max begged Gus to try to catch the minnow in a bucket.  Quite to both our surprise, Gus succeeded in this endevour and soon the kids were "petting" the poor fish and looking at it through a magnifying glass.  This I could get excited about and I went into a long description of fish gills.  I looked up to discover that Darwyn had wandered off, with Gus trailing behind, towards the huge ugly street Gus and I hated.  To Darwyn, this street was the reason for the best attraction of all: two huge tunnels making a path for the water underneath the road.  Of course, she wanted to go in.

Laurel Creek runs under Bearinger Rd (pictured) and Westmount Rd (not pictured).  These tunnels are barely tall enough for an adult to walk comfortably (if you don't mind spider webs in your hair).  -Gus

Darwyn wanted to "bounce" in the water.  As you can see, she's wearing a dress that's soaked to the chest.  -Gus

Gus was a good sport, no sooner had they disappeared then Max followed after.  I went up and over, but when I met everyone on the other side of the road, they were so excited about the tunnel they convinced me to follow them back through it.  Inside was an amazing world all its own.  It didn't smell (for some reason I thought it would).  The edges were lined with spider webs all sporting huge and exciting spiders for the kids to examine.  Loads of little fish swam around our ankles and tickled our feet.  But halfway down the tunnel was the best part.  A bird's nest.  At our arrival the mother flew off and we lifted the kids up to look at tiny baby birds.  I was holding two buckets a magnifying glass and two extra pair of shoes, so the picture I took is not that great...but you get the idea.

Trek in the water under Bearinger Rd.

Bird's nest with babies in the tunnel under Bearinger Rd.  Don't ask me what species---it doesn't matter. -Gus

We also came across a small storm drain leading off the tunnel that was maybe 3 feet in diameter.  The kids, of course, wanted to follow it, but even Gus could not be convinced to go there.  I told them to wait until uncle Mike visits in July....  [Shoulda got a picture.  It looked really cool with the sunlight pouring in from a manhole 50 feet away in the drain. -Gus]

Alas, bedtime was coming and we dragged the kids out from under the busy road.  Back on the side walk Gus took off his shoes to remove a pebble and discovered a leech on his toe.  Disgusted he pulled it off and was about to squish it when I stayed his foot.  "Let the kids see it."

The leech provided the best entertainment of the whole night.  It writhed on the sidewalk and especially Max stared at it in fascination.  We explained that it had been on dad and that it liked to burrow into your skin and drink blood.  Max begged us to keep it as a "pet", so we filled our bucket with water and brought it home.  I don't know how to look after a leech....I imagine it won't last long in our care.

When we got home we cleaned the kids off in the shower before bed and discovered that Max too had been bitten by a leech.  The one on Max had gotten a much better hold.  We got some salt and shook it on the leech.  It withered and pulled off Max's skin where he discovered a minuscule red mark.  "Max!"  I said, doing my best to sound excited.  "You were the only one that actually got bitten by the leech.  That is so cool!  What did it feel like."

Max looked at me solemnly.  "It was excruciating."

I laughed.  "So excruciating you didn't feel it?"

"Mom," he said, excitement starting to show on his face, "it was a vampire leech....I need a band aid."

And so it came to pass that the highlight of Max's night was being bitten by a vampire leech.  I must say, I preferred the baby birds....

I'm too cute

Darwyn is cute.  I know I'm not exactly an impartial audience, but to me she seems objectively cute....and she knows it.  Tonight as I watched her staring at herself in the mirror while she chanted "and my hair is cute and my eyes are cute and my belly is cute and my nose is cute..." I was reminded of a story from a few months ago...one I really should have written down.

The first time Darwyn started on this "cute kick" I had picked her up to cart her off to bed.  She wasn't completely thrilled with the idea of going to bed and tried to resist, first by squirming and kicking and generally being obnoxious.  When that didn't work she turned on me with her cutest smile and said "you can't put me to bed mommy....I'm too cute."  It almost worked.

Tonight as we sat on the couch Darwyn decided to admire someone else for a change.  I was in the middle of reading to Max and Darwyn came up beside me and stuck her face right between me and the book.

Darwyn: Mommy, you're pretty.

Greta: Thank you Darwyn.

I attempted to start reading again, but Darwyn's head remained parked in my way.

Darwyn: Mommy is pretty!  Mommy is pretty!  Mommy is pretty!

Greta: (craning to see around Darwyn's head)  Darwyn, maybe you can go tell daddy how pretty he is instead.

At this, Darwyn launched herself across the couch into her daddy's arms.  She paused for a moment, looking at him and then said, "Daddy....Mommy's pretty."  Ouch!

Happy birthday to everyone

Well we better stop having so many kids with March and April birthdays.  We didn't even manage to get Darwyn's birthday posted before Max's birthday had also passed (and Annie's birthday, Viola's birthday, Anwyn's birthday, Sue's birthday and Jeff's birthday).   As such, we have a double birthday post.  Both kids had two parties (a family party and a friend party - they only had cake at one of the parties, but we improvised with pancakes and pie for the others.)  They also both got obscene numbers of gifts from their relatives.  Anyway, enjoy the photos and videos.

Darwyn gets birthday pancakes

She had a little trouble with the candles :)

The snow on Darwyn's birthday.  On this same date two-years-ago
Darwyn was born outside in + 27 degrees Celsius

Ella and Darwyn enjoy an erupting volcano

Max and Darwyn decorate Max's volcano cake.  They went
a little overboard on the candy lava.

Max erupting his pretend volcano in the sandbox.
Best party activity ever for toddlers :)

Annie pours vinegar into her volcano.

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