Happy Halloween

Halloween was lots of fun this year.  On Monday we got together with our friends Rachel and Robin and their two kids, Elliot and Emily, to do some pumpkin carving.  When we began, Gus sighed and said "every year my pumpkin face looks like crap.  Every year I tell myself that I will come up with a really cool design ahead of time next year, and I never do it".   Fortunately, Gus let the kids design our pumpkin, so he didn't need to worry.  They drew the face with markers and he cut it out.  Part way through struggling with his carving knife Gus had the bright idea that he could just use his favorite hole cutting set to cut out the pumpkin.  He wanted me to go get two more pumpkins so he can carve them with power tools.  He kept trying to convince me that "the kids would love it."   As it was, the kids loved their old fashioned pumpkin even with the absence of motors.  They attacked the pumpkin with butter knives, covering it with mini lacerations.  Then they coloured in their lacerations with a purple marker.  The final effect was....creative.  I said to Gus later, "well honey, the pumpkin face leaves something to be desired, but I'm really glad you let the kids design it."  Gus objected, "what are you talking about!  That is my best work!"  Anyway, you can see our pumpkin in the video at the end.  It is a very endearing little pumpkin.

Later in the week Max visited the pumpkin farm with school.  He brought home a tiny little pumpkin and Gus seized it to use with his hole cutting set.  The end result was quite cute.  Max made the hat.

Max spent the whole week looking forward to his last day of outdoor school, which just happened to fall on Oct. 31st.  Max loves outdoor school at the worst of times, but this day was going to be particular fun because they were going to have a Halloween party, outdoor style.  Unfortunately, Thursday night Max woke up vomiting.  He vomited again Friday morning and I just couldn't take him to outdoor school in good conscience.  Max was heart broken and I felt terrible.

Fortunately, Max was back in peak form by the evening and he and Darwyn could barely contain their excitement.  Max dressed up as a pirate and Darwyn as a fairy.  They raced from house to house.  At each door they would yell "trick or treat!" and then receive far more candy then is good for a child.  Afterwards I would prompt "what do you say guys?"  and they would stare blankly and then look back at the person who had just given them candy, hold up their bag again and say "trick or treat?"  Sigh....eventually we got the hang of it.  Darwyn would begin to say trick or treat and then Max would whisper out the side of this mouth "no the other one" at which point she would switch mid sentence to thank you with a result something like "trick or thank you!"

At a couple of houses the kids were prompted to do tricks.  Darwyn did a lovely fairy dance and Max pulled out a bunch of sword tricks.  Although rather stereotypical, both were quite endearing.  Part way through the night Max lost his sword and then his act became a little more perplexing.   We only did a short circuit, but by the end of it the kids were loaded with candy and I'm already trying to figure out how to keep them from eating it all.  I remember my sisters offering their kids the option of trading in candy for favorite activities or toys.  I may need to do the same thing....

Anyway, all in all a successful Halloween. You can see more photos here.

Newest Block Buster Release

Tune in for our newest block buster release....on his two hundredth reading of Willa the Wonderful, daddy can stand it no longer.  Hoping for some variety he adds in a twist to the usual story, with disastrous results.

Out of the mouth of babes

Everyday the kids say something funny.  In most cases, I forget to write these down, but I finally collected a few vignettes.  I apologize in advance for all the stories centered around the bathroom....

1) At an Ultimate game Darwyn declared that she had to go pee.  I carted Darwyn on my hip to the port-a-potty, a little worried that she wouldn't want to use it.  I need not have worried.  When we got there Darwyn looked at it with interest and excitement.  She kept staring between her legs into the disgusting chemical tank and declaring "Mommy, this is a muddy potty!"  I decided not to set her straight (although Max did later when he heard the story).

2) Darwyn came careening into the kitchen one day, slipped and did a spectacular fall on the tile floor.  Whimpering a little she righted herself and said, "well, that wasn't too bright".

3) It was Canada day and we had dragged our kids out to the middle of a crowded field to watch the fireworks.  Darwyn had been doing well with her potty training, but tended to take it upon herself to use the great outdoors whenever she pleased.  Suddenly, surrounded by the crowd, she pulled down her underwear and squatted in the middle of the field.  He face contorted with effort as I stared in shock.  Then she stood up with a huge smile and declared "just farts!"

4) A baby sitter had come over to watch the kids for the evening.  She noticed the kids huge dollhouse and said "Oh wow Max!  Is that dollhouse yours?"  Max looked at her as though she was missing a few brain cells.  "No....I'm too big to fit in there."

5) Max was doing his usual rough housing on the couch.  He did some sort of karate move and wound up landing on Anne.  Anne started to protest and Max proclaimed "I'm sorry I hit you Annie, but you were in the wrong spot!"

6) Darwyn was unusually grumpy at breakfast and I said "Geez Darwyn, did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?"  Of course, the kids had never heard this expression and wanted to know what it meant.  I explained that there were a number of expressions we used when people were grumpy.  There favorite was "Who peed in your cereal?"  Max decided it would be fun to make up a new expression.  "I've got one mom!  'Geez, who chopped off your head?'....'cause that would make you grumpy, right mom?"

7) Darwyn was eating her meal at the river and spilled a little food on her lap.  She sighed audibly and said to herself "Oh Dar Dar..."

8) When asked her name Darwyn always replies "Darwyn Doodle."

ESP verified

Max is a little annoyed with kindergarten because the teacher has declared that he cannot make, bring or use weapons in class.  This is not a totally unreasonable request, but I've had some difficulty convincing Max of its wisdom.  Of course, they have no weapons at school, Max has none at home either, but he makes them our of lego and tinker toys.  Now that he is not allowed to even make weapons at school, Max has decided kindergarten is not worth attending and complains at length when we get ready in the morning.

While I completely understand the teacher's sentiment, I also understand Max's.  It is hard not to have the freedom to explore what you really care about.  For Max, that is weapons.  This morning Max was explaining to me again why he didn't want to go to school.

Max: I was building a tower out of blocks, mom...and I wanted to have a gun on the top of the tower.  But the teacher said I couldn't build a gun on the top and that made me mad.

Now I've seen the guns Max builds and I know that they only very loosely resemble guns, so I'm sure the only way the teacher could know what he was building is if he gives it away by using it as a weapon.  I wasn't sure divulging this to Max was a great idea, but I wanted to revitalize his enthusiasm for school.

Me: Well you know Max, the teacher can't actually tell if you are building a weapon unless you use it as a weapon.

Max: She can't?

Me: No.  She can't read your mind.  She doesn't know what you are building, she just sees a tower of blocks.  But if you start using it as a weapon then she will be able to tell what it is.  You need to be an agent in disguise.

Max's eyes lit up at this last though, but quickly clouded over with suspicion.

Max: Are you sure she can't read my mind.

Me: I'm positive.  Nobody can read your mind.

Max:  But Joanne can read my mind!

Me:  She can?

Max: Yes.  The other day she saw a pee spot on my pants and I told her it was water, but she still knew it was pee!

We definitely should have held on to Joanne longer.  ESP is hard to come by in hired help. Hopefully Max's teacher is not similarly endowed or my plan is shot.

Max starts school - update

I have had lots of queries about how Max's first day of school actually went.  I can't say much because pulling details about school out of a 4-year-old is like trying to pull every hair out of your leg using dental floss - painful and very slow.  (Note: If you are wondering where I came up with such a crazy simile it actually happened to my sister in Vietnam under the label of "getting her legs waxed").  Anyway, here are Max's thoughts on his first day of school:

- He played with marshmallow blocks, which are cool because they stick together.  Apparently this is all he did all day as I could not get him to report any other activities.

- He made a friend, but he doesn't remember the friend's name.

- He didn't like putting up his hand when he wanted to talk, especially because he had to wait a really long time.

- The teacher was nice, but she was also very bossy.

Max starts school

Today was Max's first day of school.  We tried to get him to pose for some pictures, but it didn't go well (observe failed attempts below).  As Gus and Darwyn and I lined up outside the school I felt my feelings alternating between pride and concern.   I watched Max milling around with the other four-year-olds, all of them looking like their backpack was about to pull them over backwards and leave them stranded like an upside down turtle.  But in spite of being undersized Max looked so confident and excited.  He didn't show even a shadow of fear or doubt.  And I felt very proud of him.

Darwyn and Max before Max's first day of school.
Note the matching water bottles.  Darwyn, carried
hers around all morning as proof of her connection to
Max and his going to school.

"Can we go yet mom?"

Max was clearly interested in making friends.  He spotted a 3-year-old child (someones sibling) wearing a batman shirt.  To Max, this seemed reason enough to be friends.  He launched across the school yard, bared his hands like claws and roared with all his might at the child.  The kid looked terrified.  

ME: Max, you need to use your words.  Say, "Hi I'm Max, what is your name?"

Max tried this, but the kid had already decided he was worth avoiding and hid behind his mom.  Max shrugged him off and set his eye on a couple of older boys chasing each other around.  I could see him think he would like to be part of that game.  He launched out in front of the boys as they came running up and started shooting with his hands.  They ran past and he looked crest fallen.  

After this we had yet another talk about how you make friends and I couldn't help being worried that he would terrorize all his new potential friends before he had made it in to the classroom.  He nodded earnestly as he listened to my lecture and then I sent him off to line up with the other children headed to kindergarten.  

I stood beside all the other parents watching their children.  I could feel their pride and their nerves.  I shared the story of Max roaring at his fellow classmates with a nervous mother standing beside me. She laughed and said "he will get along well with my son then" and it occurred to me that perhaps Max had stumbled on the perfect technique for self-selecting his friends early.  

As I wandered away into my thoughts, the teacher got ready to take all the kids inside.  Max looked at me insistently from the line.  "Mom, you need to hug me before I go into the classroom."

ME: Of course, you aren't allowed to go in without hugging your mom first!

MAX: Yes, because I love you a lot, but I will love you less and less as I get older.  

Sigh....such prescience in a four-year-old!  He is definitely ready for school. I thought 'Go get 'em batman!  But do try to introduce yourself with something resembling the English language.'

Still, I had to fight the urge to push my way into the classroom with him (and I had to fight Darwyn to keep her from actually doing this).  I felt like I was sending him into a black box...a place I hoped was good, but knew nothing about.  The whole way home Darwyn begged to be taken back and allowed to go to kindergarten.  We told her she was still too young, but she insisted that she had just now grown older and we hadn't noticed.  I almost believed her.  That certainly seems to be what happened to Max.

My precioussss

I started reading The Hobbit to Max in the expectation that he's too young for it and that we'd need to abandon the book almost immediately.  It was a desperate attempt to sneak in some reading that also interests me, and hey, he's really good at sitting and listening to stories, so who knows what'll happen, right?

Delightfully, Max has latched onto the story with more vigour than I'd ever dared hope.  We're presently in the middle of Riddles in the dark (chapter 5) and he hangs off my every word.  Bilbo has just defeated Gollum with a riddle of questionable legality and Max and I tested each other with riddles of our own before bed tonight.

It's been twenty years since I read The Hobbit, so the book is quite fresh for me and I enjoy our reading time immensely.  I'm surprised how well suited the book is for children (so far, at least).  It moves very quickly; straight off the bat we meet a wizard, dwarves, trolls, and special swords with writing on them that no one can read.  Just as Max was starting to fidget during the visit to Elrond's house, bam!---suddenly we were inside a mountain and goblins were everywhere.

Max is very excited to see the dragon.  Here's hoping we make it all the way to the end, but even if we don't it's already been a resounding victory.