No....I don't want to talk right now....I'd also rather not be a good parent.

Max woke up this morning fussing.  It was only the fake cry.  The one he uses when he wants something.  Gus and I have been waging war against the fake cry, constantly encouraging Max to "use his words."  So, this morning we lay groggily in bed listening to the fake cry and contemplating our fate as parents.  And then the crying stopped and there was a long pause.  Maybe he went back to sleep?  We greatfully closed our eyes to do the same and then, over the monitor we hear "Want to talk about it...."

For those of you that are dying of curiosity, it turns out the issue was a goose that had invaded max's bed.  The goose apparently left....I could find no evidence of his existence.  Maybe he is hanging out with those other late night visitors, bug and duck.

Gus comes second

Every day that Gus and I go to work we go through the horrible ordeal of leaving our son with our Au pair.  My use of the word horrible is not meant to imply that our Au pair is a problem.  Quite the opposite.  She is great with Max and he seems to like her quite well as long as Gus and I aren't planning on going anywhere.  As soon as we even think about exiting the room to get ready for work, however, Max melts down.  We hold fast and tell him he is fine and we love him and we will see him at the end of the day, but you can't help feeling terrible when you can hear him as you get ready crying and declaring mournfully "Bye mommy...bye daddy." 


Two days ago we were given a brief reprieve from our guilt.  I had already escaped the scene of the crime, but I could overhear Gus attempting to extricate himself from the playroom while Heather tried to convince Max that he should focus on her.

Max: No Heather.  Daddy play cars.

Gus: Max, daddy needs to go to work now.  You are going to play with Heather for awhile.

Max: (wailing) NO!  Daddy stay!

Gus: You are fine Max.  Daddy will be back in a few hours.

Max sobs and flings himself into daddy's arms.  I can hear Gus's heart breaking.

Heather: Max, would you like to go swimming today?  I thought we would go to the swimming pool.

Long quiet pause.  Max stands up and shoves Gus away.  The waterworks are instantly turned off.

Max: Bye daddy.

And so we learn yet another valuable parenting lesson.  No matter how important and central you think you are to your child's psychological well being, the swimming pool is more so.  

Don't let the pigeon drive the bus...unless you feel bad for the pigeon

We recently took the book "Don't let the pigeon drive the bus" out from the library.  For those of you who are not familiar with the story, a bus driver leaves the reader in charge of his bus and instructs them not to let the pigeon drive the bus.  Through out the entire story the pigeon tries different tactics to convince the reader to let him behind the wheel.  I highly recommend the book to those who have not read it.  Children tend to delight in telling the pigeon "No!" again and again.  Unfortunately, Max does not seem to have caught on.  I'm starting to think he will be easily manipulated.

Pigeon Tactic 1:  Can I drive the bus?
 Max: yeah!
Me: No honey, you are suppose to tell the pigeon no. 

I demonstrate by pointing at the page and emphatically declaring NO!

Pigeon Tactic 2: Pleeease....I really want to...
Max: Ohhkay.

Again I point and say "NO!"

And so things go, with the pigeon trying tactic after tactic and Max giving in on each one.  Each time I reiterate that the "correct" answer is no.  Finally, the pigeon slumps in defeat. 

Max looks concerned.  "Pigeon sad," he declares.  The bus driver returns, thanks Max for protecting his bus and drives off while the pigeon stares wistfully after him.  Max looks very distressed.  "Pigeon drive bus?" he asks. 

Gus: I'm not sure about the lesson this is teaching.....

I suppose this is one of those difficult crossroads we all reach in our lives where we decide between enforcing the rules and making people (or pigeons) happy.  I guess we know which side of the debate Max is on, but then...why shouldn't he empathize with the pigeon?  Nobody ever lets him drive the bus either.