Gus and I have recently aspired to teach Max the word no. Until recently, we never used the 'N word' and got by simply by making everything with in his reach 'yes'. Then we traveled to Bloomington. This highlighted two things for us....first of all, when travelling, many things are no and we had no ability to convey this to Max. Second, Viola knew the word no...so Max was obviously old enough to learn it. And so we set out to teach our son the word no.
The good news is that Max quickly learned the word. In fact, it is the first word he has learned to say and he happily talks away to himself, "no no no no no", as he goes about his day. Needless to say, this does not make us look like very good parents. Unfortunately, Max's definition of the word no appears to be "all fun things are called nos." The plus side of this is that he lets you know when he is up to something bad by loudly declaring "no!" from the other room. And so when you rush to the bathroom to see him with his sights set on the toilet moving full speed ahead, you sternly proclaim "Max, that's---" and he finishes happily, "NO!"
It seems we may need to start time out.
Thus you prove that language is subjective. As you provide the context, Max will catch up. I always try to think of why the 'No' is required. Safety? Sit him down suddenly to simulate a fall as you say it, act scared or feign crying to communicate your concern. Of course "time out" is a great stand-by (you don't want to over-use the big guns), but when possible, I prefer to covey the "why" as after as possible. He'll make the connection a lot faster.
ReplyDeleteBloody iPhone spell checker...
ReplyDelete"as often as possible"
Sigh!
I just noticed this comment now....
ReplyDeleteThe why can often be difficult to explain --- "Mommy doesn't want you to throw your food on the floor because she pays money for that food. What's money? Well that's a good question. It is really a kind of promise that you can receive goods in the future. The thing is, it has started to take over our lives. As a society we over value money and sacrifice things that really matter for empty dollars. What? NO! That doesn't mean you can throw your food on the floor."
You're tongue-in-cheek answer is perhaps overly complex :) Usually, complicated answers can be made much simpler (same technique used with grad students, I'm told)
ReplyDeleteThrowing food wastes time & money (which really costs you time wheather it be yours or Gus'). When you are cost time, Max loses time. What is time, he asks to be difficult? It's the fun your not having, strapped into a high chair while mommy cleans the floor.
OR, you could take the approach that is one of responsibility... Max can't use food well (i.e. He is wasteful), so Max loses food.
I could go on all day... But, speaking of waste, I must get the girls from Anthony's party at the Fun Factory where I presume there is plenty of food on the floor that no one is suffering the consequences of. Sniff :(